there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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