I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
