Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Soap is not a condiment
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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