are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
