I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My life is pants optional.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
