He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i love accidental penises.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
