I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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