from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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