I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
