i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
