This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
