Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
