its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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