did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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