; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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