there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
