he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
