this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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