That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
