lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
