We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
