woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
