I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
