I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
