I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
