I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
