I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
