My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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