It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
