id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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