"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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