Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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