New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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