I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
