Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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