At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
