I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
