You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
