Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
