it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't put those talents on a resume
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
