I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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