Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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