it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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