those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
