with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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