Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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