your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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