just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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