Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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