Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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