I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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