bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
