wanna go halves on a baby?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize