I think i sorta joined a cult last night
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
