we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
