She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The air taste purple.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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