he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
soo... how was my night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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