Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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