Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
